You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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