During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do vagina's smell?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize