She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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