Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
