1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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