You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
