I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
