ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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