After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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