my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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