when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
