ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
that is very illegal...i love you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
