Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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