I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
