some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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