Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
