I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sorry my hands just texted you
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
