ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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