$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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