it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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