i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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