Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The struggles of a small town man whore
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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