no. you can't hotbox the world.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
