put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
