Taylor Swift is so right about you.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
