I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
