Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
