Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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