By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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