I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
