No more Irish car bombs ever.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
