Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
