i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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