We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
And then he peed in my hair
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