u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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