While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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