last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
