Swine flu. Run for my life!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
