So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
