I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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