I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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