your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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