guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
