We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
