Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize