I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
