two words: eviction party
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The feeling are messing with the penis
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
