i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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