I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize