so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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