Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
