I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
bring money and cleavage
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
