Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it's like heaven, but drunker
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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