i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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