She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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