his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My vagina is officially offended.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
