On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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