i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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