Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we're making bets on your personal life
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
