Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
