I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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