I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
