glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
